Have you ever just watched an episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo” and realized that every character therein would be infinitely more valuable fulfilling a different role in the carbon cycle? Wanna’ know what really makes this show kinda’ sorta’ sick? The fact that we all pay to subsidize this behavior each time we shop at the grocery store or pay our taxes. The fact that the longer we subsidize these people, the more these sort of people will become the future of America.
Then it hits you like this season’s vaccine-resistant influenza bug. This sort of pervasion of nature takes effort and ingenuity. Honey Boo-Boo’s continued parasitic existence is your tax dollars hard at work. This program gives us a nice, naturalistic, smell-the-runny-bastard-poop view of what we win if we raise our debt ceiling high enough and allow our federal government to do whatever the heck it pleases with money that currently doesn’t even exist. Let Dom Pardo show the Redstate viewers what they win if the debt ceiling raises without a sharply contested fight.
nd in case you thought the cultural rot was only restricted to them dirty, gun-owning, NASCAR following, rednecks, we offer you another reality show. Oxygen TV presents programming that gets about as wide as network founder Oprah Winfrey used to during her binge-eating episodes. Here’s how OprahTV describes a household where a guy bangs out 10 different women, produces more offspring than Travis “Light-Horse” Henry, and then shacks up with a far younger girlfriend on the side.
This bold new series shows every second of the drama-filled lives surrounding a unique “modern” family unit, as they navigate their financially and emotionally connected lives. As the household grows, sometimes so does the dysfunction, leaving the man of the house to split his affection multiple ways while trying to create order…but sharing your man with several opinionated women is bound to create issues.
The guy in question is a rap artist who previously sold enough dope to make this sort of lifestyle feasible. It’s a good thing he knows how to deal outside the bedroom. Here’s a look at what happens when he tries to remember the names of his offspring.